🔪 Why I’m Slowly Killing Food Polka Freelance to Death

(And Yes, I’m Open to Full-Time, Fractional CMO, or Creative Director Roles in CPG/DTC Food & Beverage and FoodTech)

I’m done.

I’m deliberately winding down Food Polka freelance because I can’t take one more flighty client and briefs that say “just make it look like [trending brand] but cheaper.”

I already know — before the moodboard even loads — that it’s heading straight to 1.2 ROAS, dead comments, and zero brand memory. Forever forgettable.

It’s a race to the bottom, and everyone’s pretending it’s a victory lap.

I didn’t bootstrap Phoode® brand with endless ad money and by copying anyone. I did it by being the creative mind and obsessive sociologist who treats every thumbnail as a behavioral experiment, every shoot as evidence collection, and every caption as a psychological trigger test.

Real user conversions with brand managers, creative directors, producers, and real creatives. Real data. Real feedback

Lately, 95% of inbound is the same safe, beige, fast-follower content that costs a fortune and moves nothing.

I’m bored. Actually bored. Uninspired. My brain is starving.

I hate waste with every fiber of my being — waste of the brand budgets, waste of my creativity and experience, waste of consumer attention.

So I’m stepping off the hamster wheel.

I want one brand. Just one. A CPG or DTC food/beverage brand that wants to build something addictive, intelligent, and brutally effective — Duolingo-level savage, Liquid Death-level unhinged, Fly By Jing-level unforgettable.

I want to go deep on real consumer psychology, real behavioral data, real performance creative that makes $50k spend feel like $500k.

$Fractional CMO, Creative Director, Head of Growth, VP Marketing, CPG food beverage, DTC food beverage, consumer psychology, performance creative, food-tech founder, food marketing, beverage marketing, fractional CMO food, creative director CPG, CPG marketing, DTC marketing, food brand marketing, open to work, food polka, marta fowlie, founder of phoode$

If you’re a founder or marketing lead who’s also sick of mediocrity and wants an unfair advantage instead of participation trophies… let’s talk.

I’m openly looking for the right full-time (Creative Director / Head of Growth / VP Marketing) or fractional CMO / strategic creative partner role in food & beverage CPG/DTC.

I want to commit everything — creativity, consumer behavior expertise, food-tech founder experience, 25 years of scars — into something serious. Something that scares me a little. Something that actually dominates.

Took me longer than I care to admit to say this out loud, but the decision is final.

If you feel the same hunger, email me. Or forward this to the obsessed person you know who needs this.

P.S. Hellmann’s Mayo is currently running the best social strategy in the category. Yes, I said it. Fight me.

Marta Los Angeles, November 2025

#OpenToWork #FractionalCMO #CreativeDirector #HeadOfGrowth #CPG #DTC #FoodMarketing #BeverageMarketing #ConsumerPsychology #PerformanceCreative #FoodTech